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Here is how the conversation might go:

Pet Owner: Hi Sammy, I'll be home soon.

Sammy: WTF lady? Isn't it bad enough you named me a gay ass name Sammy. I just d*ck wiped your pillow beotch. How about stopping at the dog pound on the way home and picking me up a nice little french poodle that I can sodomize repeatedly.

Pet Owner: Bye puppy. See you soon.

Sammy: Thanks for the warning dumb arse. You have to be the dumbest person on the planet to buy a cell phone that doesn't do anything. Like I can understand shyt you are saying beotch? How about getting home and cooking me some real food instead of this recycled fish gut horse meat crap you give me? Make your yuppy self serving too much money don't care about anyone but yourself living in a dream world don't have a clue person useless for once in your pathetic life. I am going to take a dump on the carpet now and its going to be runny because of that crap you feed me - enjoy cleaning it up.
 
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