Office Fun

This one is by far my favorite joke email of all time...

>An old one but it still makes me chuckle . . .
>
> Looking for something new and exciting to do in the office ?
>
> Why not initiate an office dare system - however to do it properly
>only you are allowed to know the dare.
>
> Sound confusing?
>
> Well read on..........
>
>
>
>ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
>
>1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
>
>2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
>'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
>
>3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
>
>4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and
>say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
>
>5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
>and grimace.
>
>6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
>huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
>
>7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
>"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
>
>8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
>
>9) While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
>
>
>
>THREE-POINTS DARES
>
>1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
>double-barrelled
>fingers.
>
>2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
>that,
>I don't want to have to repeat it".
>
>3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
>
>4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
>nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
>
>5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
>
>
>
>FIVE POINT DARES
>
>1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
>conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
>actually launch into it yourself).
>
>2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
>growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
>
>3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
>
>4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
>number
>two".
>
>5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
>in" the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
>
>6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
>
>7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
>mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
>
>8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my
>witness,
>I'll never go hungry again".
>
>9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
>
>10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
>trade?".
>
>11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do
>you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
>
>12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't
>talk about it".
>
>13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
>lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
>
>14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
>important conference call.
>
>15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
>
>16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your
>pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
>
>17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash
>each biscuit with your fist.
>
>18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
>door.
>
>
>19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
>attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life
>counterparts.
>
>
>
>And if that wasn't enough for you...
>
>
>
>1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
>hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
>2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
>have
>to let one of you go."
>
>3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
>with that.
>
>4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
>
>5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
>over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
>6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL
>FAVOURS".
>
>7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
>
>8) Don't use any punctuation
>
>9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
>10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
>
>11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
>12) Sing along at the opera.
>
>13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
>14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
>sounds
>all day.
>
>15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
>party because you're not in the mood.
>
>16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
>
>17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time
>this
>week!!!"
>
>18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
>yelling,"Run
>for your lives, they're loose!"
>
>
>
> And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
>
>
>
> 19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it
>to
>you
>or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.