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Why we love children

1116 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  drewpy
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked him.
"Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently. "you did WHAT!!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You
know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands
next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a
snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get
hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get
boobs, too."

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad...."
"I'm THIRST. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later..."Daaaa-aaaad..."
"When you come in to spank me, can you brink a drink of water?"

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she
said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken
at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she
sat down , the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly
into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a
b*tch to iron."

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year-old
came into the room as I was preparing to get into the shower. She
said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but
what's growing in your butt?"

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns
the farmer. She read, "...and Chicken Little went up to the farmer
and said, "The sky is falling!" The teacher then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her
hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Sh*t! A talking chicken!'" The
teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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GSXR750DJ said:
John and Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot" he shouted.

A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by".
A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company".
A few moments later,"Matt's riding a new bike....."
A few moments later,"The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, Mother and Dad both shot up in bed. Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?

"Cause Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony with a popsicle, too."

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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