Stolen from the internet, only intended as humor...
HOW ARE WOMEN LIKE PARKING SPACES?
The best ones are taken & the rest are handicapped.
HOW MANY MALE CHAUVINISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
None. Let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.
WHAT IS LOVE?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
WHY ARE CYCLONES AND TORNADOES USUALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
Because they don't come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR WIFE & YOUR JOB? After 2 years your job still sucks.
WHY DID GOD CREATE LESBIANS? So feminists couldn't breed.
WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
Because they don't have balls.
WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
WHY IS A WOMAN LIKE A LAXATIVE?
They both irritate the **** out of you.
WHAT'S WORSE THAN A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG?
A woman who won't do as she's told.
WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN?
WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES?
They want to.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN WITH PMS, & A ROTTWEILER?
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO FIX A VACUUM CLEANER?
Why the hell should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing.
WHY ARE WOMEN LIKE SCREEN DOORS?
Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.
WHAT IS A WIFE?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE BOOBS?
So men will talk to them
WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
WHAT'S SIX INCHES LONG, TWO INCHES WIDE & DRIVES WOMEN WILD?
A hundred dollar bill
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE PERIODS?
Because they deserve them.
WHY DID THE WOMAN CROSS THE ROAD?
who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?